THE ROLE OF PARENTS
﷽
Family in Islam is the most important institution as it forms the bedrock upon which a society is built.
In Islam, marriage (Nikah) is a contract between a man and woman to become spouses. This contract is guided by the shariah.
Marriage is a social necessity, a means to protect one’s chastity and morality and a means to propagate humanity.
The inherent attraction between genders that leads to marriage is considered as one of the signs of Allaah (ﷻ) in the Qur’an.
“And from his signs is that he created mates for you from yourselves that you may find rest in them, and He put between you love and compassion; most surely are signs for those who reflect”.
[Surah Ar-Rum Ayah 21]
Sadly, the issue of marriage has changed from an act of worship (if done with sincere intention) to a social problem not because of the inherent nature of marriage but the customs, traditions and perceptions associated with it that are not found in the shariah.
Therefore, the need to tackle this vice is very important because without any doubt it is killing the Muslim society.
When marriage becomes frowned at, it opens the door to all sort of tribulations such as fornication, homosexuality etc. especially in a society where these are seen as a norm.
In a bid to curb this issue, parents have a significant role to play in counselling the young generation.
This shouldn’t begin when a boy/girl is about to wed, rather a deliberate approach in guiding a child as to what marriage is all about in Islam. This should be done while adhering to the Qur’an and sunnah as well as the ways of the pious predecessors.
O you who believe, ward off from yourselves and your families a fire (hell) whose fuel is man and stones….
[Surah At-Tahrim Ayah 6]
Firstly, parents have vital role in teaching their children beneficial knowledge and inculcating in them good manners (the knowledge of the Deen is of utmost importance here).
We can take the example of Luqman the wise in the Qur’an which depicts how a father lovingly admonishes his child with regards to how he should lead his life.
And [mention, O Muhammad], when Luqman said to his son while he was instructing him, “O my son, do not associate [anything] with Allaah. Indeed, association [with him] is great injustice.”
And We have enjoined upon man [care] for his parents. His mother carried him, [increasing her] in weakness upon weakness, and his weaning is in two years. Be grateful to Me and to your parents; to Me is the [final] destination.
But if they endeavor to make you associate with Me that of which you have no knowledge, do not obey them but accompany them in [this] world with appropriate kindness and follow the way of those who turn back to Me [in repentance]. Then to Me will be your return, and I will inform you about what you used to do.
[And Luqman said], “O my son, indeed if wrong should be the weight of a mustard seed and should be within a rock or [anywhere] in the heavens or in the earth, Allaah will bring it forth. Indeed, Allaah is Subtle and Acquainted.
O my son, establish prayer, enjoin what is right, forbid what is wrong, and be patient over what befalls you. Indeed, [all] that is of the matters [requiring] determination.
And do not turn your cheek [in contempt] toward people and do not walk through the earth exultantly. Indeed, Allaah does not like everyone self-deluded and boastful.
And be moderate in your pace and lower your voice; indeed, the most disagreeable of sounds is the voice of donkeys.”
[Surah Luqman, Ayah 13-19]
Parental guidance is often taken for granted and it reflects in the conduct of individuals even after they have reached stages where they are responsible for their actions.
Marriage is no exception of a situation where the different attitudes of both parties has a vital role to play in how they come together to build their family.
May Allaah (ﷻ) grant us wisdom to raise our children in a manner that pleases Him.
آمِيْن يَارَبَّ الْعَالَمِينْ
To be continued… إِنْ شَاءَ ٱللّٰهُ
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